Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Goodbye 2010

Somehow 2011 doesn't seem like it has begun yet and as I sit and think about 2010, I decided that the best way to remember it would be to write it down. So here I am trying to capture 2010 in a couple of words/paragraphs and I once again find myself staring at an empty page. It's been a very interesting year and a very interesting journey and it has led me down path/places I never would imagine and it allowed me to meet some amazing new people, reconnect with some old friends and strengthen the ties with those that matter.

I started the year with very little expectations and it was one of the most peaceful and relaxing year I've experienced. My two favourite phrases were "It's okay" and "What's the point". It has helped me through many difficult decisions. I've managed to treat my life as an experiment and opened up to possibilities and suggestions. I've done something I've found so hard to do previously; I forgave myself and stopped blaming myself for all the things I couldn't change or do anything about. That alone was a huge burden off the shoulders and knowing no matter what experience or outcome a certain path or decision takes me "It's okay" because eventually I'll wind up where I'm suppose to be ... eventually.. though I might take the longer way to get to the same destination, it's always the journey that matters and not so much the destination and the people that comes along the way to share and experience that journey.

There were only a few new year resolutions that I made in 2010 and one of them was to spend more time with my friends and to a certain extent I believe I have managed to do that. Also manage to enjoy holidays that doesn't have an itinerary or concrete plan. I became less uptight and less of a perfectionist. It was amazing. Sitting around lazing at the beach felt right and peaceful. I guess I found a way to make peace with myself and gain control of my own demons.

I've also manage to not let the little stuff get to me. Things that people do or don't do ... things people say or don't say .. some of them mean what they say .. some of them don't .. for some it's just words and empty promises .. for some it's a pact and words are all they have to show their sincerity. People come in all different characters and no one is ever the same. If ever I felt insulted, hurt,angry, agitated, disappointed with certain people or actions all I had to do was ask myself "What's the point ?" and after that the world doesn't seem to be such a bad place after all.

The other resolution was to reconnect with certain individuals that have drifted away and mend certain relationships/friendships with people who at one time or another mattered so much to me and I had a ball spending time with them. I manage to keep in touch with most of them and in fact have even started hanging out and we still continue to have an awesome time. I was truly thankful and grateful.

I learned so much about life, the universe and expectations in general from an amazing woman. She thought me how happiness can only start from within and depending externally for it will often lead to disappointment. I actually enjoyed spending time on my own doing my own stuff and sometimes find it irritating when I have to leave the comforts of my home and head out to do chores or meet people :D I think I've been enjoying my alone time so much that having to share it with someone became an issue.

If I were to jot down every moment, memories, lessons, experiences I've gone through in 2010 I could probably start a novel so I'll just leave it at that and would like to thank each and everyone that has spent 2010 together with me. It could have been for a brief moment in time, it could have been for a reason,purpose, it could be that I was meant to help you on your journey through life and vice versa and we continue on our own paths. I treasure each and every moment spent and trust me when I say I'm grateful for each and everyone that has appeared or disappeared in 2010. Without any of you around it wouldn't have been the same and I wouldn't be the person I am today. Thank you. Thank you for the time spent listening to me and offering advice and despite the fact sometimes I don't follow those advice I still appreciate them. Let's welcome 2011 with open arms and welcome all the possibilities and memories it brings to us. A simple word like Yes can change our life's forever :)

I've learned ....

I’ve learned that no matter how much you suffer, the world won’t stop because of you.
I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is let yourself be loved. The rest depends on the others.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, others just may not care….
I’ve learned that it takes years to win someone’s trust, and seconds to lose it.
I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter WHAT you have, but WHOM you have in your life.
I’ve learned that charisma is useful for maybe fifteen minutes. After that, it would be nice if you actually knew something.
I’ve learned that you should not compare yourself to others and what they can do better than you, but what counts is what you can do.
I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what [difficult situation] people go through; what matters is what you do to help them get through their hardtimes….
I’ve learned that ‘it cuts both ways’.
I’ve learned that warm good-byes are important, it might be the last time you see that person.
I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you say you can’t take it anymore.
I’ve learned that heroes are those who do what needs to be done when it needs to be done, no matter the consequences.
I’ve learned that there are people who love you, they just don’t know how to show it.
I’ve learned that when I’m mad, I have the RIGHT to be mad, but NOT THE RIGHT TO BE MEAN.

I’ve learned that true friendship continues long distance. This is also valid for true love.
I’ve learned that if someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to love you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all their heart.
I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they may hurt you once in a while, and you have to forgive them !!
I’ve learned that it’s not always enough to be forgiven by others; sometimes you have to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned that the past and the circumstances you found yourself in may influence your character, but YOU are the one who is responsible for what you BECOME.
I’ve learned that if two people fight, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other. The fact that they don’t fight, doesn’t prove that they love each other.
I’ve learned that sometimes the person is more important than his/her actions.
I’ve learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.
I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves will get far in life.
I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a few hours by people who may not even know you.
I’ve learned that even when you believe that you have nothing more to give, when a friend calls, you will find the strength to help him (her).
I’ve learned that writing, like speaking, can heal pain.
I’ve learned that those whom you care about the most are taken away from you the quickest.
I’ve learned that I must love in order to be loved.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


If I were a drop of water, and you'd asked me: When would I find true love?
It depends, I'd say. Are you ready for true love?
Most people think that true love is something to be found. For me I think 'true love' is when you truly love yourself.
And you challenge me by asking: What happens after I truly love myself?
Well then, you need to find someone who has also found the 'true love' you have found. Without having understood that in the first place, how can they understand yours?
Contrary to popular belief, two broken mirrors do not make one complete one. If anything, they become crass reflections of each other, for each other, to recognize the flaw that was there in the first place.
The broken pieces just won't fit no matter how hard you try.

Written by a friend

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The crazy 24 hours

Finally back in the comforts on the office, sitting on the chair, in front of the notebook. What a crazy, crazy, CRAZY weekend !!!! Only managed to reach Singapore around 5:30pm and got a message asking me to be at Changi airport at 6:30pm because there's been a change of plans in accommodation. The best part .. it takes about 45 mins to get there from where I am ... LOL

Had a quick snack, rushed to the MRT and made my way to Changi stop, while I was at the interchange waiting for the train, got a call and asked to head to Pasir Ris instead. Luckily I wasn't on the train yet. So made a few more sms informing others of the change of plans and dinner at Clarke Quay is not going to be happening.

Only managed to reach the apartment around 8pm and plans were made to have dinner nearby and head there around 9ish pm. We were at the monorail station buying tickets to go Sentosa around 10pm and everyone was pumped to get the party started. So did the rest of the people around us. It's gonna be a crazy packed night. Even to enter we had to queue for almost an hour. We finally got in and bought coupons for drinks and made plans to meet at a specific point, in case we loose each other and which is what exactly happened. The best part, it was me that got lost, sort of ... hahaahhaahha. I had my eyes set on the group in front and was trying to catch up with them, turned and looked behind and the group behind me was gone, turn to the front and that group was also gone, so basically I was the odd one one.

The best news of the night, my money was with group A, my handphone and MRT ticket was with group B !! hahahaahahahha I had nothing with me except my camera and the entrance ticket to Zouk !!! Woots .. how amazing is that !!! LOL

Just walked around keeping an eye out for them while trying to enjoy the whole Zoukout experience. There were 3 stages, with stage A being the highlight of the event. It was crazy crazy packed especially with everyone waiting in anticipation for Tiesto to get on stage. He opened with Kaleidoscope and I was immediately mesmerised. I closed my eyes and let the music take control. A wave of calmness filled me and I suddenly felt I was magically being transported elsewhere. The thousands of people around me didn't exist. I was alone and I was okay with that, a smile crept up my face and I knew it was okay. It was okay to be alone, it was okay to feel alone, alone is not a bad thing after all. I was overwhelmed by it all, never would I expect to feel such serenity in the midst of chaos. It was magical to say the least.

David Guetta did a good job entertaining the crowd especially after such a big name like Tiesto. Didn't get to catch much of his songs as I was busy running around looking for friends. In the end I was just walking around listening to the music at the various stages and at the same time keeping a lookout for familiar faces.

Before long the sun made it appearance but that didn't stop anyone from continuing the party and at wee hours of the morning you can see everyone still pumped and energetic as if they just started out. It was madness, never have I been to a party that lasts so long and being awake to witness it all. 

Around 7:30am I began to get worried because I haven't spotted anyone and we had a bus to catch at 10am. Decided to take a slow stroll to the monorail station in hopes of spotting them resting somewhere or having breakfast at one of the nearby stalls. Still no luck, sat around the station till around 8:30am and began to get desperate. Didn't have any money to take the ride back to Harbour Front so if I walked it would take roughly an hour, which would give me enough time to borrow a phone and call them but will they be already there or already prepared to head to the bus departure area.

In the end I approached a total stranger and asked if he's phone had internet access so I can check my Google Mail and get someone's contact number as I don't even remember anyone's at the top of my head. He was kind enough to lend me his phone and even make a call to a KL number and I manage to get hold of someone and had my transportation arranged from Sentosa to the bus terminal. Even manage to tell the rest that the bus was at 10 am and not 11am as they assumed. Phewwww we manage to get there in time and lucky us the bus was not even there yet. 

Yet another crazy adventure for your's truly. 

Saturday, December 11, 2010

It's been a while

It's really been a while since I've had time to update the blog and
recently after reading through it, I realised how so many things has
happened the past year and though some of it is still fresh in the
mind I'm pretty sure I've already forgotten some of it.

I'm currently on a bus,heading to Singapore for Zoukout. Yah can you
imagine, me heading for a rave party. Its going to by first time going
for such a thing and I have no idea what to expect.

Well like the saying goes the best things in life happens when you
least expect it :) Plus I'm on the bus with Jo and a few of her dutch
friends. Tonight is going to be a good night :D
Sent from my mobile device

Monday, November 30, 2009


friends ... who are they and what do they mean ? Everyone has their own interpretation of what a friend means and how to define a true close trustable friend compared to just a friend. This year I started questioning the presence of certain people in my life and I know there are a precious few that I'm extremely grateful for and at the same time those that I'm really close with seem to be the ones that are currently the furthest away from me. Somehow the man upstairs made me meetup with some awesome people this year and also to reconnect with some that I have lost contact with. I tried to be friends with everyone thinking that a friend is better then an enemy but this year I realise that not everyone can be a friend and there are some out there who just need your help/presence for a short moment of time and then they move on.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or! make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to! accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Mind vs heart

The most interesting thing about the heart transplant is that one completely loses his own heart and be replaced with someone else’s heart yet still has the feelings for the same person he loves. This proves that love works in the minds of people and not in their hearts. You will learn how to forget only if you try doing so.

— Dr. Burke, Grey’s Anatomy

Monday, October 12, 2009

The amazing weekend

It's not every time that I have things planned for the weekend but this time around I'm glad that my weekend turned out the way it did :)

Friday evening
It started out by celebrating some of my colleagues birthday at the office. We usually have this monthly birthday bash and since last month was puasa and raya, we celebrated the birthday for the September and October babies together. As usual there was cake and loads of food. Since I was requested to bring my camera I helped out taking the pictures for the event.

It's amazing how my colleagues love to be in front of the camera and they can take pictures almost the whole evening. Had loads of laughter and fun and it was good to experience the closeness of everyone. Had a dinner appointment in Desa Park city so after cleaning up the office I left to head for my next event of the evening :)

Friday dinner

Was invited to join some friends who are meeting up for our primary school reunion. Some of this people I've never met ever since leaving primary school and I had my doubts but since I knew one or two people who are going I decided to just join since I had nothing else to do anyway. Even though I was late I was the third person there while the rest was even later. Soon one by one they arrived and I didn't even recognise most of them. Then we started looking at our old photos and suddenly faint memories of them returned but very vaguely.

So it was the usual catching up, updating each other on our lives and what we are doing. Glad to know that not everyone is married and some are still enjoying life. At least don't feel so left out and since any jokes that involved age will affect all of us, things werent' so bad. Somehow we started talking about cars, cameras, pr, advertising. Just light stuff but the best part for me was how almost strangers can sit down on the same table and just talk and laugh about stuff. It was nice :) Halfway through dinner got a call from Irene saying that it was a common friends birthday and I was ordered to go there ASAP so just like that I had another venue to be at and the timing couldn't be more perfect :)

The Birthday
I think I can safely say that I was the last one who got there hahaha hey I got the notice quite late also okay. Wished the birthday girl a happy birthday and was introduced to the others that I didn't know. Suprisingly it was a pretty small group, with just 6 or 7 of us. Some faces were familiar because I've seen pictures of them during other group outings but oddly enough the familiar faces were missing hmmmm I thought at least some of those so called regulars would make it a point to celebrate a friend's birthday. Oh well that's something I don't want to dwell into especially right now.

So since I brought along the camera with me, I decided to put it to good use la. So started snapping pictures and then I got tired and sat down and started mingling while Irene took my camera and continued taking pictures. Was talking to Michelle (now I know like 3-4 Michelle's LOL) and realised that she is cheese head and somehow one thing lead to another and I found myself being invited out for dinner next week to wine and dine ... hmmm I'll need to see if the offer still stands or not or was it a spur of the moment thing .. hahahaha

I wasn't planning of ending up being out for so long and wasn't even dressed for the occasion. The freakng shirt I wore was not meant for places with lack proper conditioning and before long I felt myself running around looking for the nearest aircond outlet. I was freaking sweating like crazy hahahaha .. well at least the place was rather quiet and it was just us occupying the space so that gave us a chance to just sit back and relax and have a good time. As usual time flies when you're having a good time so we bid our farewell and I went back home ... tired and exhausted but happy :)

Saturday morning
The family planned a trip to head to PD for the weekend and I couldn't join them for the whole weekend because of a friend's wedding dinner which I cannot miss. So I did the next best thing, followed them there and had fun until the evening where I drove back all the way to KL. I honestly had loads of fun. Didn't know PD could be quite fun especially when you have silly people around :D We ended up going to the ostrich farm where we took loads of pictures and were half afraid to go anywhere near those creatures that were higher than us ... was rather tired after all that but had to rush back to KL.

Saturday evening
Manage to get back in KL on time despite the horrible jam in PD due to the elections. On the way to KL there was this two stupid black cars with Johor plates practically racing on the road, weaving in and out of traffic. About 10-15 mins later there was a sudden crawl and I was hoping that it was them and there was the stupid black camry at the side of the road. Bagus !!!

Rushed home to shower and then rushed back out again to attend a wedding dinner. It was great to meet up familiar faces and catch up with those that I haven't seen in ages. The married couple looked very happy and I'm so happy for the bride for finally finding someone she can spend the rest of her life with. She's a close friend and was always on the lookout for her friends ensuring that people around her are okay. She has since then changed slightly but her happiness means a lot to us so we're happy to see her happy 'nuff said.

Met May and her friend and we started chatting and catching up on the times we've not seen each other. She seems a little stressed with work and all but is planning to continue her studies in Sydney which is great news.