Friday, June 22, 2007


It's funny how expectations works. Sometimes people expect so much from you as though you are the most perfect person on earth and that you should never do anything wrong.

Let's take a parents expectation for example, they expect you to do well in school. To get good grades and be the top of the class. So if you don't does that mean you haven't been trying ? Does it mean that you are any less a good child compared to the one who got first ?

Nobody's perfect and by having an expectation before you even go into something are you setting yourself to be dissapointed or are you setting the standards as to how things should be ? There is such a thing as setting expectations too high and when we don't get what we expect we often end up hurt and dissapointed.

So how much can we expect ? Do we tend to have higher expectations for the people we care more ? I know for certain my parents expect a lot more from me compared to my sister because they know I'm the responsible type and will try my best to live up to their expectations where else my sister couldn't give a damn and does things the way she wants to irrelevant if it's what they expect or not. If you don't care about someone they can continue doing on whatever you want and it wouldn't even bother you because you didn't expect anything from that person in the first place. Does someone who lets you down means that they don't care and bother ? I don't think so but sometimes maybe some of us do feel that way.

By setting expectations you already set targets and goals in your mind as to what you want which in a way is a good thing obviously but what happens when you don't get what you expect does that mean the person who let you down doesn't care or maybe they have tried their best and because they have not met your expectations they are considered a failure ? How would someone know what you expect out of them if you've never told it to them in the first place ?

I expect to have the answers to everything but obviously I don't so I should get my head out of the clouds and ensure that I have my feet firmly on the ground before I set myeslf for a great big fall.

"No expectations, fewer disappointments!" It's that simple. Not easy. Simple.

The wanderer meets the wonderer

I am back !!! hahahaha ... I'm on the bus on the way back from Singapore where I went for my little getaway from the hectic KL lifestyle though I think Singapore is even more hectic but I could for once not bother about work and about stuff that seems to arise every now and then.

Don't you just love technology. Imagine few years back getting online without a PC seems ridiculous but now with the convergence of technology we can surf and check email from our phone truly allowing us to stay connected whenever and wherever.

Apparently people have been wondering where I vanished to without notice. I was in Singapore for CommunicAsia and at the same time went to do some shopping though I didn't end up buying much. I manage to somehow get around the MRT system with all their different lines. Not that difficult once you figure out which station you need to get to.

While there I noticed how Singaporeans tend to not bother what people think about them. Well at least that's how it looks to me. I saw people walking around bare footed along Orchard road and yet it didn't get any stares or finger pointing. I can just imagine if you try doing that in KL you'll probably not only get weird looks but everyone will just plainly stare at you as if you're a lunatic. LOL

Everyone seems to be having a handphone even small kids who look like their only 7 or 8 years old. Amazing. Not only that everyone seems to be in their own little world. Either listening to music or sms-ing. My god I thought I was quite fast in sms-ing but when I saw the speed that their fingers move at to type an sms I would say that I am damn slow. The speed the thumb moves at is amazing. I could hardly keep up by just looking hahahahha

Technology not only has brought us closer but yet it has made us drift apart. Gone are the days when we use to get birthday greeting cards now it's just an SMS away and even then some find it so difficult to send a message.

If ever you want to observe people Singapore is a great place to be because there's just so many people around hahahah amazing. Especially on the MRT, sometimes packed like sardines and that was not even the peak hours.

Anyhoooo I will be in KL shortly and it's back to the reality of my life for me and hopefully with my little getaway I am now more refreshed to take on the challenges that awaits me. Livin la vida loca ... hahahahaha

Monday, June 18, 2007

Under construction

I am currently under construction. Will be back better than before. Thank you for your patience and support :D

Bring me to life

Friday, June 15, 2007

Paranoid android

Have been having a weird vibe this past few days and on Wednesday night I had a weird dream and even though I slept quite late I was awake by 6am and couldn't go back to sleep. Then yesterday night when I was having dinner I got news of my uncle passing away .....

and something totally unrelated hahahaha I know I've been thinking too much when

  • I'm on my way to somewhere but somehow I find myself heading home
  • I spend 10 minutes looking for my car at the usual spot only to realise that I parked it elsewhere on that day
  • I look high and low for my handphone only to realise it's in my pocket
  • I'm physically there but my mind is not
  • Things that once gave me pleasure now scares me
  • I stare at the monitor thinking what to write and an hour has passed by hahahah
The funny thing is I'm not even remotely sad hahahahahaah how twisted is that. I guess I'm still in denial and oh yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh latest news update I'm apparently an inconsiderate bastard who only cares about myself. I guess I'm not that nice of a guy after all hahahahahahahahaha

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Living life joyfully - tribute to Yvonne Tan

Lately I've been receiving so many bad news around me that it's kinda depressing but at the same time this video brought a smile to my face. I saw it over here and I hope they don't mind me posting it up but it shows that living life joyfully and to the fullest is something we should do when we still have the time and not regret when it's too late.

Many thanks to Roger who made this video in memory of his niece Yvonne Tan who passed away from cancer. I do have issues of my own and things that worry me and make me skeptical but at the same time I'm living life to the best way I know how and hopefully when the day comes I can look back and smile knowing I've always done what I wanted to with no regrets. Remember life is short.

You can also drop by Yvonne Tan's blog here

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Growing up is optional

I saw this over at Jan's blog and immediately made my heart skip a few beats. It's amazing how so many amazing things are happening around us and yet we sometimes do not take the time to realise it. So just spend a few minutes reading this and maybe just maybe it might change the way you look at life.

The first day of school our Professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate Milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.

She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed

She leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!

These Words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.


We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


No I'm not talking about someone who likes to talk about motors but more on how someone can talk nonstop. The odd thing though I always thought they have always been that way and will be that way until I found myself slowly being one also and yesterday was when I realised I'm a certified motormouth hahahahhaah

I've always been wary about what I say and to who I say but yesterday I have no idea what came over me as I told someone a lot of things which I shouldn't have. I was feeling very chatty and even after posting on the blog I was still not satisfied so I ended up talking about stuff which weren't meant to be shared with someone whom I barely know.

Don't you wish sometimes you could turn back time or take back what you have said ? Well this is one of those moments. Obviously I can't take back time nor take back what I have said so I will just have to live with it and don't let it bother me too much but I know because of what I said I will now be stereotyped or judged for the things I have done and I just hate that feeling.

I must remember that not everyone is like me and not everyone bothers about stuff that doesn't concern them. Oh well I'm only human and I do make mistakes so screw that shit. Mistakes were made, just have to learn from it and get on with the program.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Chivalry - is it dead ?

I've been having a lot of time to sit down and watch people lately and as I sat and watched them I start to wonder and notice their actions and behaviours and just the other night as I was telling some friends about an experience I had while I was studying overseas about a boyfriend and his girlfriend and a roast chicken I started questioning myself as to what exactly was chivalry and if it's as extinct as the dinosaurs or is it just a dying breed waiting to be extinct ?

We were brought up believing fairy tales of a knight in shining armour riding a white horse going through swamps and slaying dragons in the process of rescuing the fair damsel in distress locked up in a tower in some castle somewhere. He finds his way to her and whisks her off her feet and sits her on his horse and they gallop into the sunset living life happily ever after.

*kapowwwwwwwwwwwwwww* reality check please. No where in the fairy tale did the princess turn around and say "I didn't need you rescuing me. I could have done it on my own" or even turning around and saying "I got my own horse damn it why must I ride yours ?". Welcome to the reality of today's world where in this modern day and age when the opposite sex demands equality and fairness in how they are treated.

With the current splurge of women icon figures and pop artists who keep singing and preaching about how they are independent women and that they can survive without a men by their side is it any wonder that chivalry is something that is not commonly seen ?

What is chivalry in the first place ? Does chivalry just mean the guy being nice to the girl ? Is chivalry among men something that should be practised as well ? According to chivalry is

1. The medieval system, principles, and customs of knighthood.
2. The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.

Well to me chivalry is just the act of being kind to other people and putting their thoughts and feelings before yours. Is holding the lift for a lady any different for holding a lift for a guy ? What about holding the door open for both sexes ? It would be considered okay and normal but yet we seldom see that happening. I know it still does but just rarely. On so many occasions I've seen people purposely closing lift doors even when they know someone is rushing to get on it but I guess not everything can be applied to both gender. If a girl says she's feeling cold and you offer her your jacket it's considered okay but if you did the same when a guy said that it will send alarm bells ringing off his head.

I know some people who are such a gentleman and hold the door, pay for bills and are suddenly so courteous in every single way possible but only to someone they are interested in. Is it so hard to do it everyday ? I've had such a bad experience before that it scares me but I know that's like a rare occasion but still makes you realise why chivalry is such an extinct thing.

I was in a meeting the other day and there was refreshments served and some people just poured a cup of coffee for themselves without asking the person next to them if they wanted any since they were already holding the flask anyway. Me being me obviously took the coffee flask and poured some for myself and asked my colleague next to me if he wanted some. Was that so hard ? Just simple things that no one seems to bother doing anymore.

Another thing I noticed is that there's only a select few who know how to appreciate and are grateful for those little things you do hence I guess the biggest problem for guys would be believing that their attempts at being courteous are not futile and go unnoticed. I just had an experience today as I was walking back from lunch and as I got into the lift and pressed the close button I noticed a guy walking towards to lift so I pressed the open button and waited for him to get in, when he got in he smiled and said thanks. Left me with a happy feeling knowing that someone appreciates such simple gestures.

Got off at my level and another lady got off with me and was heading to my office as well and I opened the door for her and she just marched right in as though it was my duty to open the door without even looking back and smiling or saying thanks. Even a doorman has feelings okay and it would be nice to receive a smile once in a while. Try it and see the different reactions you get from people. I love to do stuff like this and see the different responses I get sometimes it's good to know that there are still good people out there but most of the time I'm left wondering what's happening to today's community and where we're heading.

Imagine if you opened the door for a total stranger be it guy or gal but in this case more often than not is the guy opening for girls and as you reach out and open the door waiting for her to pass by and she just stops there and stares at you and says "I can get my own door thank you very much" I have no idea what I would do but most likely I would probably die of embarrassment hahahahahah

On one hand you have some women who expect men to be all courteous and gentlemanly but on the other hand you have those that turns around and snap at you for treating them any lesser than an equal. So then is there a need for chivalry or will she even appreciate it ?

Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with chivalry and in fact I would consider myself guilty for being chivalrous and doing kind things. In fact I've been accused on more than one occasion for caring too much about other people especially strangers who couldn't give a damn about my existence. Chivalry is not just being kind and generous to someone who you are romantically interested in but in general to anyone and everyone. It's just saying hi good morning to that stranger in the lift early in the morning or saying thank you to your newspaper man as he hands you your paper well at least that's what I think anyway but sometimes you just sit back and wonder what's the point and it gets kinda tiring to keep giving and giving and in the end you feel empty inside seeing everyone just pushing their way through everything without bothering about anyone or anything other then themselves.

What makes it even more sad is when your kindness is received with doubt and immediately people assume that you have an ulterior motive behind your actions. Another thing that gets me wondering is how chivalry is often a one way thing, as in guys are usually suppose to be the chivalrous type and often we are taken for a ride. Maybe it's time for a change ?? hahahahaah but it would be weird if a lady suddenly offered to open the door for me but at the same time it would be a nice change right ?? LOL

I guess at the end of the day for us chivalrous type it's not so much as what we get in return but more on how we are recognised for that little things that everyone seems to be taking for granted nowadays. I guess I will continue on with the way I am now because that's who I am and I'm comfortable with the way I am until that is the kindness is beaten out of me and I join everyone else only doing things which are profitable to me, myself and I. Chivalry certainly is not dead but it is dying, that's for sure.

Happy happy joy joy

Okay I'm feeling very chatty and everyone seems to be busy with work on Monday so here I am rambling about nothing so if you're feeling bored then continue reading if not just close the browser and continue on with your life so you won't loose precious time reading something about nothing .. okay ?? Since you have been warned let's see what I want to ramble about this Monday morning :D

After class yesterday was feeling a little down and what better way to turn a frown into a smile other than to spend time with your loved ones. Well in this case I turned to friends, coffee, dinner, movie and to top it all off what better way to end a Sunday night other than going for karaoke and singing or more like wailing in my case to release some pent up stress.

Thank god we were no where near a cemetery because I think I could raise the dead and even if I couldn't people would definately be rolling in their graves. Yes I'm that bad !!!! ahahahah but that didn't stop the mic from magically appearing in my hands and me singing to songs I thought I didn't know and magically I can sing them and I swear I didn't have a single drop of alco hahahahaha but I do pity the people who had to put up with my horrible singing .. I guess I will have to go find more unsuspecting victims either that or make sure everyone is drunk before I sing .. ahahhahaha

Went for dinner in Curve and the restaurant name was .. ermm I no idea .. no no .. not the restaurant name .. as in I forgot what it's called ok but if my memory doesn't fail me I think it's called Charms ? Well it was my first time there so I didn't know what to order so I let "boss" order lor .. and ordered my drink which was orange plus apple juice which was not so bad ..

"Boss" recommended the lamb thingy and some mayo thingy and mushroom soup thingy and claypot rice thingy and I think that's it la hahahah but it was still a lot ok. I thought eat lamb ok ma but suddenly we were served rice I was like eh I thought we having lamb and boss said this the lamb la they cook together with the rice ... but then I was wondering to myself why the rice so white one .. kena tipu already .. duhhhhhhhhhhh

Soooooooo anyway finally the lamb came in this small little fire pot clay thingy with charcoals that is still cooking/sizzling/burning the lamb.I took a picture of it but my camera not with me so I can't post any pictures but then trust me it was GOOD !!!! AWESOME !!! DELICOUS !!! FANTABULOUS !!! though I did leave some lamb pieces a bit too long on that fire thingy and some were a bit burnt but overall it was lovely .. and then the mushroom soup thingy OMG .. also awesome not like the stupid out of the can soup you get in some places this actually tasted good and then the mayo thingy with bread .. OMG another sinful delight .. boss actually quite smart also lor in ordering food .. hahahaha

The 3 of us were trying to stuff ourself because we ordered a little too much but because the food was so lovely we manage to finish it and some smart alec who couldn't finish the lamb decided to tapao it back and we had to smuggle it into the cinema and the whole time we were watching pirates I could smell the lamb. I wonder if anyone else smelled it cause it smelled awefully good lor hahhahahah

After movie we head over to Redbox to sing our hearts out and well suffice to say I left the place with a slightyly soarer throat but with a much lighter heart and shoulders plus let's just say it was a night to remember la and of course I'm keeping the details to myself :D hehehehehe

Then it was suddenly 3am and it was time to say goodbye and I made my way to Cineleisure to get my car and spent a good 10-15 mins figuring out how to get to the damn parking because most of the main entrance was closed so I gave up and decided to take the path a car normally would and walk floor by floor to reach my car which was like in the 3rd basement and as if that's not enough even the exits from the car park were closed and I think only the main one was open so I spent another 10mins in the basement of Cineleisure trying to find my way out. I felt like a damn mouse in a damn maze damn idiots .. don't they know people are still awake enjoying life at 3am in the morning and need to get out of the parking as they normally would at any other time ?

Slept around 4ish coz I couldn't sleep haahahah though I was tired but I wasn't sleepy. All system haywire already hahahaha and I'm going bonkers .. cuckoooooooo but on the upside I'm freaking high on dope which is awesome !!!!

I'm feeling tired today but at the same time I'm feeling such a rush, such a high. It's as though everything and anything seems to be possible. Nothing can stand in my way as I hold my head up high, proud and happy with this warm fuzzy feeling that the world is not such a bad place after all. Just have to be patient and know that something good is coming your way. I have that feeling of wanting to go out and stand in the rain spreading my hands wide open and enjoying the feeling of the rain spattering against my face and playing in the rain as though I was a little kid again with no worries or apprehension for life and just enjoying the moment that is present. If only it was so easy to let loose and just dive into things head first without worry of the consequences, how I long to be once again naive and innocent and able to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If only .....................

Sunday, June 10, 2007

It ain't easy

I appologise first and foremost for making it look like it's easy but in actual fact it isn't. Someone recently asked me how come as a masters student I seem to have all the time in the world to still enjoy myself ? The answer to that is of course by making some sacrifices.

First thing that you need to throw out of your life is sleep. Suddenly sleep seems not so important as you try to juggle between work, studies and having a life. Sleep is for the weak and it should be on the lowest priority in your list of things to do that is until you find yourself dozing off in meetings and classes and even while driving and you find yourself amazed that you even made it back home without ending up on the divider then you know you're on the right track hahahahahah

Work is from 9-6pm and have classes from 7pm-9:30pm which leaves around 3-4 hours of available time to go out and hang out with friends and enjoy whatever time is left for that day and if need be extend that time till 3-4am in the morning whenever neccesary which gives you about 3-4 hours of sleep because you need to wake up at 7am for work.

Then you find yourself back in the office feeling sleepy and tired but at the same time you need to concentrate on work and soon it becomes a routine and you get used to the zombie state of mind and only thinking and talking when the need arises on top of that reading materials for the evening class needs to be read so that you can participate in the discussions and understand what is being thought in class.

Well all is fine and dandy until you meet that lecturer who gives you a knock on the head and brings you back to reality on what it takes to be a masters student. She gives you tonnes of journals to read an average of 3-4 a day with classes the next day. Not only that everytime in class she keeps mentioning about how much work and commitment is involved to do the assignment and what differentiates a disctinction from a merit. A distinction in her mind is something so good that you could even publish it. With just a month or so to finish it up I wonder how on earth am I going to make it look like a research paper .. my god !!!

Well not to worry I'm excellent in my time management and I will find a way to squeeze it all in hahahaha but yes if you think it's easy studying and working part time let me remind you now that it really is not and even though I make it look easy it really isn't and sometimes the pressure and expectations is so high that you feel like just turning the other way and running. Sometimes I sit and wonder for who or for what I'm doing all this for and why am I suffering my time and resources on my studies when I can be spending it being with my family and friends even though I'm halfway through my course but most of the times I just bang my head against the wall and remind myself of my future and my goals and that manage to bring my sanity back in place hahahhaha ..

So next time if you see bruises on my forehead you know what I've been upto .. ahahhahaha ... oh well it's time to head back into class and continue my battle with time and myself :D

The dinner

It's been awhile since the whole family has been out for a dinner and since I recently got promoted as well I decided it was time to bring everyone out for a treat. I had classes so plans were made to go out for dinner after I got home for classes.

It rained for a while and threatened to ruin the evening but luckily by the time we reached there it already slowed down. We started ordering cause I was freaking starving and when it came to the fish, we all heard her say chicken paste fish and we all looked at each other and wondered what the heck was that and decided to try it out but mana tau when the dish arrived it looked different hahahahaha actually the lady said ginger paste fish but we all heard as chicken lor called her again to reconfirm and she gave us the look ahahahahhahaha must think we some kinda weirdo lor asking what happen to our chicken fish .. hahahahahah damn funny lor but the fish turned out to be quite good as well so no regrets there :D

It was a lovely dinner and left the place feeling damn bloody full lor and the crabs .. my god .. AWESOME !!!!

No Black Tie - Rachel Guerzo

Haven't been updating the blog in a while cause I've been BUSY !!! Yes busy with work and studies ok !! I do actually have other things to do other than go out and enjoy myself contrary to popular believes !!! hahahahah

So after class on Tuesday I made my way to No Black Tie to join some lovely ladies to enjoy a beautiful evening of music. Reached there quite late because my classes only finishes around 9:30pm and obviously by the time I got there Rachel was done with her first set.

The place was rather crowded for a Tuesday evening and it looks like next time I want to go there must do advance booking already hahahaha as usual Rachel manage to captivate her audience with her lovely voice but this time something was different the ever smiling Fly was not playing and someone else was in his place. Though technically this new guy seems to be playing better than fly but he lacks the enthusiasm and passion that only Fly can bring while playing the double bass.

So here we were enjoying our wine and having a decent conversation when suddenly the air filled with a loud laughter. DAMN LOUD OK !!!! It was like a crackling laughter of an evil witch and I couldn't take it and burst out laughing as well, I was really trying so hard not too but it was harder than I imagine and suddenly we got our very own syncronised laughing team in No Black Tie with her leading and me following hahahahahaha

As if that was not enough her table was probably the noisiest there. Not that I mind cause it adds to the atmosphere and I still could hear Rachel sing so I didn't bother about it. The fun began slightly after midnight when most of the people left and there were like only 3-4 tables left and they suddenly thought we needed some extra entertainment and got up and started dancing !!! IN NO BLACK TIE !!! Well okay it was funny but then the loud laughing lady was not really dancing, well you could call it dancing anyway she was doing this thai dance movement thingy where I've only seen on tv and everyone was paying attention to her instead of Rachel ahahahhahaha

Not only that somehow all of us manage to get Rachel to perform a 4th set, well not really a full set but still it was more than what she usually performs and it was lovely. This time around I told Rachel that I can't join for supper as I had to head back to get some sleep cause I have classes the next day.

Also Rachel I'm sorry for your loss.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Any Other World

Recently I was introduced to this song by my little experiment 626 hahahaha and got immediately hooked on it. I've only heard Mika's Grace Kelly as it's been playing so often on the radios and have never bothered trying to listen to any of his other songs because I felt he was like just any other happy sounding head bopping artist until I heard this song of course. It immediately connected to me in so many different levels but I never really thought about it until last night when I was in bed talking on the phone.

I've been living in a lonely world for so long and because of past experiences it has turned me into a bitter person and here I am smiling trying to be happy or at least put on a mask so that people around me think everything is okay just as the last line in the song talks about. I guess everyone goes through their ups and downs and in the end we just have to let down our defences and let go of our own little world and open up to the rest of the world because lonely is so lonely, alone ... hahahahaha So I'm saying goodbye to the world that I've been living in and start a new and hopefully this time things will be different :D

For now I've learned to let go and be myself and laugh from the bottom of my heart and because of that I'm a much happier person though there are still parts of me that is locked up but at least I'm slowly beginning to let go of my defences bit by bit thanks to the help of my wonderful friends that are there standing by me :)

It's as though he is talking on my behalf and undertands what I've been through and because of that I really <3 this song and thanks dear for sharing this lovely song with me

In any other world
You could tell the difference
And let it all unfurl
Into broken remnants

Smile like you mean it
And let yourself let go

'Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter old man
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, play the part of a Lonely, lonely heart
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

I tried to live alone
But lonely is so lonely, alone
So human as I am
I had to give up my defenses

So I smiled and tried to mean it
To make myself let go

'Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter old man
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

'Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter old man
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in [x2]
Say goodbye

In any other world
You could tell the difference

"I never ever, I forget my story.
My face is no sad, but inside, I am sad."

Here's what Mika has to say about this song

There is a little spoken introduction that many people may miss.

It’s a family friend of mine who lost her eye during the war in Lebanon and I realised in everyone’s life their comes one point — or several points — where something happens and you have to completely change the way you have lived your life because of one event.

And it really makes you readjust and rethink and rejudge parts of your life all over again.

That happens to some people in a dramatic way like Rafa who lost both her eye and her husband within six months. Or it can be in a much quieter way like when you are 22-years-old and you finally leave university after being in education all your life or when you lose your job.

I wanted to put that in the song, because when you’re 68 or 14, it’s still the same feeling and it’s still just as hard.

I wanted to try to capture that quite difficult period that people have to go through at least once in their life.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Movies update

Have been watching so many movies lately that I haven't had a chance to update the blog but then here's a recap on what I've watched lately or at least what I remembered la hahahaha

Blades of Glory
This is one crazy mad funny show which will leave you laughing like a mad person. Definitely was worth watching especially after a stressful day at work. Some even watched twice and still laughed their ass off. I pity those that were around me who had to listen to my crazy ass laughter hahahahaah

Sorry no idea what happened in the show except the guy can see few minutes into the future and ends up saving the day or something hahahahha. I was too busy taking care of someone to pay attention to the movie ahahhahaha

The Hills Have Eyes 2
Now this is one of the goriest movie I've seen lately. The starting scene itself was damn gruesome with the woman giving birth to a monster and the part where the guy get shots in the brain and still able to move was madness

Wild Hogs
Another crazy ass funny show that I wouldn't mind watching twice. Men in their mid life crisis trying to act cool. What else can you ask for ?? hahahahaha

Groove Junction - Rachel Guerzo

We got an invite by Rachel (more like forced .. just kidding) ahhahaha to go and see her perform in Groove Junction.Reached there around 10pm and she was already done with her first set. The place was so much smaller compared to No Black Tie and seeing Rachel playing anything else other than the grand piano was a little dissapointing but she still manage to put on a great show.

Me, Rexine, Estee, Eelyn and Estee's MUM went for the show. Estee called me and said that her mum wanted to catch Rachel sing also luckily bookings were made in advance.

We got a place right in front where we could enjoy ourself fully. The place was a little too noisy as well and people we more busy enjoying dinner and chatting then watch Rachel sing. Only after 12 am when most of the dinner crowd left did we get to listen to Rachel sing in peace.

I'm officially now a Rachel groupie hahahahaha and will be planning to visit No Black Tie tomorrow night to once again to watch her perform but this time I think I will be skipping supper and head back home earlier to sleep but then again things don't always go as planned hahahahaha

Pictionary masterpieces

Here is some of the masterpieces from Saturday nights pictionary hahahaha. Have loads more but some were not so clear but I think the one that gets crowned the worst drawing of the night that has no relevance whatsoever with the answer was by yours truly. I got a wolf and I had no idea how to draw a wolf. So ended up drawing mountains, a lake and gave up halfway. Then I drew a sun and cancelled it and drew a moon and then I drew the most pathetic looking dog ever hoping that they will guess werewolf and then ending up at wolf. Okay I know my drawing sucks but we still ended up winning .. hahahahahahaha

Take a look at the first picture and then compare with the second one. The answer was seaweed and obviously the first one was guessed. The second was a sushi !!! hahahaha

My beautiful snake hahahahaha the answer was rattle and instead of drawing a baby and a rattle this seemed to be the obvious choice hahahah thank god they guessed it :D

Tiger woods ? Looks more like a cat if you ask me .. hahahahah

Another one of my master piece hahahaha fish finger :D

I now am a pictionary addict .. when when when ???

Sunday, June 03, 2007

I've been nuffnanged

Got into the blog today and noticed something different. Ehhhhh the banner on the right hand side has been replaced with an ad !!! Yes my first advertisement on the blog. Yippieeeeeeeee thanks to all those that comes to read my ramblings and rantings. Love you all .. hugssssss n kisses

Many thanks to Nuffnang for allowing us bloggers to get something back in return and to Exabytes as well for wanting to place their ad here :D

the wonderboy

This post is about nothing but yet it's everything. Recently I found myself to be the amazing wonderboy. Why ? Because I just sit down and wonder hahahaha about life, friends, people, studies, parents, job, expectations, hope, dissapointment, anger, love basically anything and everything and anywhere that my mind takes me to.

Which has left me many sleepless nights. You know how sometimes you have a feeling deep down inside you heart that something bad is about to happen and you just can't put your finger on it. Well I'm having one of those moments. I've been extra cautious of my surroundings, the people I'm with, the things I say (well most of the time anyway), the things I do, the things I think I want to do, the things I think I should do which has left me in serious confused state of mind. One minute I could be laughing my head off and a thought comes across me mind and I'll go blank for a minute expressionless and then continue on laughing like a madman. It's kinda scary okay. .. hahahaha people might think I'm having some sort of nervous breakdown ...

So obviously I slept late once again last night which was around 6am or so and woke up at 8:30am to go for a full day class isn't that amazing hahahha I think the whole of this week I've had like 24 hours or sleep in total which equates to about 3-4 hours daily ... yes I'm back to my insomniac self .. hahhahah

I've been picturing myself at the bottom of a high diving platform lately. I feel the excitement as I grab the railings and begin my ascend. The higher I go the more the fear becomes apprent. There's apart of me that wants to just turn back and run for my life but the other part wants to feel the adrenaline rush, the excitement, the thrill of flying through the air but at the same time I'm worried about the fall. Do I continue going on knowing that I might just come crashing down as the higher I go the more I'm involved and the more it's harder to turn back. Do I keep looking ahead hope that everything will be fine and leave the rest to fate ? Am I ready for such a fall because I know if I continue on the way I am now, I will definately fall face flat once again and it's going to leave a nasty scar from which I've not fully recovered 100% from my first fall. What if this time it's different ? What if this time everything goes smoothly because this time I have my friends supporting me from below. Cheering me on, wanting to see me succeed ? Will that make a difference ? I'm sure they will be there to catch me if and when I fall but will I be ready to get up and walk again ? To once again try climbing the platform to go even higher than before and try once again ? I don't know the answer to that .....

Somehow I feel the heavy burden on my shoulders and I can't seem to get it off. I know I'm not suppose to feel this way and should not let things that is beyond my contol to bother me but it's so easy to fall into the trap of wondering. Well I think after last nights thinking session I finally have decided what I should do and hopefully will be able to follow through it. Enough of being mr nice guy, it's time to start taking care of the one person that matters the most which is myself *chants changeiam like a loonatic while meditating ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm *

To my friends who are there when I need them please feel free to smack me around a bit when I start falling into my old habits because old habits die hard but I've realised that I need to change them and want to change them ... so permission to smack is given to all concerned parties ... :D

Dinner and pictionary :D

Was out for dinner with some friends last night and it was a lovely dinner with loads of laughter. Yeah since when is there a dull moment with a person like me around whose laughter can be heard from the next room hahahahahah. We had a lovely dinner and a lovely host who took the time to actually cook and ensure enough food was available. Though it was a bit too much lor and the cake was AWESOME !!!! seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyy if only I wasn't too full I would have had another piece A BIG PIECE !!! hahahahahha

After dinner we ended up playing pictionary. First of all I can't act for nuts and second of all I can't draw for nuts and obviously being bad at both I was very reluctant but decided to play anyway since it promises to be quite a fun experience. Few hours later more like at 3am in the morning we were done with our little game. It was a damn funny experience and I loved it. WHEN DO WE DO IT AGAIN ???

Thanks a lot for taking the time to prepare a wonderful dinner and a wonderful night. I really had a lot of fun and loads of laughter.

Friday, June 01, 2007

It's what you do to me

First time I heard this song I immediately fell in love with it. I'm a sucker for acoustic guitars and with his voice it makes it all the more better. One of the songs that's on my repeat list :D

ohhhhhhhh it's what you do to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

"Hey There Delilah" - PLAIN WHITE T'S

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

31% at Baskin

Was talking to Estee yesterday and suddenly the topic turned into food and we found ourself talking bout ice cream and suddenly we realised that it's the 31st and Baskin is having their 31% discount thingy going on, so we made plans to meetup after dinner which I was suppose to have at home but my parents weren't in so metup some friends for dinner instead.

Estee wanted to get tickets for some movie in Cineleisure so we decided to head to Curve after that to enjoy our dessert but as soon as we got there we were shocked cause there were LOTSA people and luckily I asked the guy at the counter if they have rum and raisin because I wanted that but they ran out of that flavour .. DAMNIT .. not wanting to give up we went over to Centerpoint to try our luck instead and the situation there wasn't any better.

It looked as though people have never eaten ice cream before. The crowd was just ridiculous. This is only the second time I'm going for the promotion and I didn't know it was this bad because the first time my friends were there earlier and all I had to do was finish the remaining ice cream. I swear to god if at all I'm planning to go there again it would be much earlier if not I rather not save that RM10+ for a quart and waste an hour plus of my life when I can be in Starbucks sipping my latte hahahahah

Still loads of people around waiting to get their ice cream and their numbering system sucked. There were some people waiting over an hour and still not yet get their ice cream. So I just stood around there waiting and there was this loud idiotic bitch that was making life really miserable for everyone.

It was as though she owned the place. Kept shouting around and saying how lousy the service is and how rude the staff are and then had the check to stand in front of the counter even though it's not her turn and keep asking to taste ice cream. Not only that she had the check to turn around to her kid and say

"Aiyaaa boy ah boy you see the queue so long we don't get buy ice cream also nevermind la we just taste all the ice cream here and go back"

I was like WTF ... felt like grabbing her by the hair and giving her a few damn slaps. Stupid bitch. Everyone was patiently waiting their turn and she just waltz in like she's a queen and everyone must serve her. Then she kept insisting she was waiting over an hour and her number has not been called yet.

This was when I got fedup and decided to sit down and Estee seeing my frustrations bought me a scoop of ice cream from the express counter. Thanks a lot Estee at least that cooled me down a bit if not you will see a scene from Blades of Glory where I will that the knife from the counter and slit her troat !!! arrrghhhhhhhh I can feel the veins on my forehead pulsating even thinking about it now.

After waiting for more than an hour it was our turn and Estee got a pint or was it quart of ice cream for her mum. Drove her back home to drop the ice cream and made our way to Laundry to meet some friends.

Thank god for laughter and some alco if not it would have been a shitty night.