Tuesday, August 05, 2008

It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I had the time to sit down and write down my thoughts. Honestly sometimes I miss it. I miss having the chance to put down my feelings and thoughts after an eventful day or even an uneventful day. I was talking to someone the other day about blogging and I took time to actually go through some of my post and I was amazed. I'm amazed of the amount of things that has happened to me the past few months, heck even the past few years.

Within a blink of an eye, moments pass by, people come and go, memories created and forgotten yet those close to the heart remains fresh. Some of them bitter but most of them sweet, makes me wish I hadn't stopped penning down my thoughts. I was going through a rough patch in my life and didn't want to let people in especially people I don't know so I stopped writing. I stopped putting down my feelings and thoughts but at the end of the day I realise that I want to write about things that are going on in my life.

I really couldn't be bothered about what others think anymore. I want to be able to look through my posts, through my past and see how far I've come, how much I've achieved, how much I've changed and remind myself of who I was, who I am, who I could be.

So much has happened to me this year. I've gone through so much and I think nothing much surprises me anymore. The other day a friend told me of his plans to get married and even though I was happy for him, I really was but I wasn't overjoyed as how I should be. Even worst was when he said he want's me to be the best man. I was unmoved, untouched all I could ask with a straight face was when was the big day so I can make sure it doesn't conflict with my classes ... hahahahah .. I think I'm turning into an emotionless, heartless person ... hmmm am I ?

I've had the chance to meet some really caring and wonderful people this year and I thank god for putting them along my path but at the same time he's put some really weird people into the mix as well hahhaa. People who go around spreading rumors, go around backstabbing each other, fake people, pretentious people. It's amazing how low some people can go. I'm starting to be selective as to who I spend my time with. It's precious, I don't want to waste it with people who are fake.


michelle said...

experiences shld make u a wiser person, not bitter & definitely not emotionless. there are more than meets the eye. dun give up on the goodness of ppl. everyone is essentially born good. their journeys in life made them sceptical, made them defensive. dun succumb to this as well. look within urself & find that faith again. it's not lost. u've just stopped looking for it...

changeiam said...

Faith is a funny thing sometimes. Yes I've not lost it but at the same time I'm not putting all my hopes in it .. LOL .. I guess I'm one of those who are on the border of having faith/loosing faith .. how how how ?? Are people really that selfish and self centered ?? sigh