the hypocrites

Yes we all hate them and despise them but have we ever looked into the mirror first before passing judgement ? I too despise hypocrites until I realise that at certain point in time I'm also one. We are human after all and we sometimes just don't do the things we often preach about.

I agree with the goverment that bribing is bad and that we should not encourage it but when I got caught for speeding and get stopped over immediately the question of the day would be .. "mintak maaf encik ... tolong la sikit ...boleh settle tak ?"

I say I hate people who double park and are inconsiderate but yet sometimes I find myself doing the same thing when I'm in a rush maybe I'm a little more considerate and leave my number on the windscreen but still it's an inconvenience to the person I'm blocking.

I say what idiots people are littering on the street and yet sometimes I find myself throwing a sweet wrapper or two around the streets or out of the window while I'm driving.

I always tell myself I won't do this or that and yet when the time comes sometimes I find myself doing exactly the same thing. Am I not suppose to practise what I preach ? Talking is always easy but action speaks louder than words.

Lately I've been finding myself in difficult spots and though I have promised myself in the past that I will never repeat the same mistakes again but here I am taking the same path once more. What about the road less travelled ? Am I not suppose to choose the other path since I've already been this path once and know where it might lead me ?

I guess there's a line where being a hypocrite sometimes is okay but in extreme cases when you go around being all holy and a saint and condeming everyone in sight for doing things the way they are doing and then in the end you do the same thing yourself then you definately need to think twice before opening your mouth anymore. I'm in conflict with myself and that alone is giving me a freaking migraine.

I guess humans are creatures of habit and even though no matter how hard we try we do experience some slip ups and find ourselves making the same mistakes again. I know I'm doing what I said I don't want to be doing and though I loathe making this decisions at the same time nobody forced me and I made them with a conscious mind. I guess now that I can't turn back time I just have to make sure I handle things differently if and when it happens again. In the mean time it's time for some damage control. May you all mercy on my soul... I'm only human ok !!! :D

My life movie soundtrack

Yet another tag that I need to do
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Falling in love:
Emi Fujita - Proud of You
- Hahahah what a song for my falling in love soundtrack. Can imagine in the movie where people usually have flashbacks from a few scenes with the music playing in the background ? This will be like that .. ahhahaha .. I will be meeting her for the very first time and our eyes just catches a glimpse of each other as we catch our ride to work and weeks, months later we meet again in a function and we go out and get to know each other better .. LOL

I can fly
I'm proud that I can fly
To give the best of mine
Till the end of the time

So it's true indeed after falling in love really can fly :D

Sex Scene:
Kanye West - Gone
- Hahahah what a song to make love with. I don't think it will be very good scene with a chorus like

Too late, we, gone - we strivin home
Gone - we ride on chrome
It's too late

Breaking Up:
Nerina Pallot - All Good People
- Now this is definitely a good song to break up to because life goes on and all good people will move on hahahah

'Cause all good people have a sense of themselves,
They never worry, they know what tomorrow will bring,
And all good people know the world is ok,
Why should we worry, when we can do anything?

Life's OK:
DJ Yoda - Sesame Sex
- Don't even ask hahahahahaha .. I was looking for remix music and found this album online and imagine sex sounds in the background to sesame street music !!! hahaha LIFE'S OK !!

Mental Breakdown:
Amy Winehouse - Some Unholy War
- Now this is another nice song and definately if I have a mental breakdown I would feel like this also

It's you I'm fighting for
He can't lose with me in tow
I refuse to let him go
At his side and drunk on pride
We wait for the blow

Driving:
Doobie Brothers - Minute by Minute
- Okay la this one not really so suitable but imagine if I was driving to see the person I love then this song definately would be what I would like to

But minute by minute by minute by minute
I keep holding on
Oh, minute by minute by minute by minute
I keep holding on

Final Battle:
Boz Scaggs - Lowdown
- Hahahaha imagine people running around fighting to this music ... or during a big breakup scene .. ahahh but the music a bit too cheerful for that also

(Whooooo, I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder who)
Taught her how to talk like that
(Whooooo, I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder who)
Gave her that big idea

Death Scene:
Akon - Gringo
- Hahahahahha konvict music upfront ... can imagine walking down a dark alley with this song playing and then suddenly I get jumped by some guys wanting to get their stuff and they kill me in the process while trying to rob me

Eyo gringo, eyo gringo
I heard you want some marijuana
Or some pure white coca
Eyo gringo, eyo gringo

Funeral Scene:
Bill Evans - In Your Own Sweet Way
- This is an instrumental track with the piano playing in the background so maybe could work also. While this tune is being played people give speeches and you can hear sobs in the background and when everyone is done with sobbing you will hear wine being poured and as everyone enjoys the lovely wine you can hear the laughter of all my friends and family as they talk about what a great person I was and how much they will miss me !!!! hahahah

End Credits:
Elton John - Daniel
- Hahahahahah this is lovely !!! Just change the name daniel with mine and you have the best ending credit ever to the movie of my life !!! Really appropriate lor !!! hahahahaha

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain
Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes

Hahahahahah that was fun :D

Rachel @ No Black Tie

Was having dinner with Rexine, Joane and Nicole last night when around 9:30pm or so I got a call frm Cynthia asking if I wanted to go No Black Tie and that Rachel insisted that I go hahaha with an invitation like that how can I refuse. Made a few calls to some people so they can't blame me saying I never inform them !!! and plans were made to go watch Rachel sing. Managed to pursuade Rexine to follow as well since she's never been there before. So we paid for our food and made way to pick Cynthia up and away we went.

It's been so long since I've been to No Black Tie that I almost forgot the way there hahaha but made it in one piece and by the time we got there it was showering slightly and Rachel just finished her first set so they all just sitting around chatting.

We got there and she introduced the people around and one of the guy was this short haired dude called Manbai. I know the name sounded so familiar but I didn't bother trying to recall so we just sat there sipping our wine and chatting way. He's damn hilarious man I had a good laugh talking to him and his views and opinions. This morning while updating my blog it hit me like a brick .. OMG .. MANBAI .. he sang Kau Ilhamku which I absolutely loved listening to when it was still famous ... *bangs head against wall* ... just shoot me okay .. .hahahahah

Rachel started her second set and we got seats right in front of her so that we can absorb even more of what she has to offer. Fly was on the bass and her uncle Rizal was on the drums. As usual Rachel did an amazing job serenading us with her lovely singing. What more can I ask for, sitting and enjoying a lovely night out sipping some lovely chilled white wine with two lovely ladies whom I adore by my side while listening to Rachel's angelic voice filling the room.

She finished her sets and finally it was time to get some grub and don't know how when or why but suddenly Rachel had cravings for crab and balitong at 2am !!! hahahah so we drove to Jalan Alor and ordered crabs and dim sum and balitong and lala and I think that's all kua hahahah and ate la ... thanks a lot Rachel for the lovely dinner ?? supper ?? hahahahaha

Finally reached home like 3:30 am or so and still had time to chat and then slept a happy man with many happy thoughts and memories of this wonderful night !!! I can live in a day like this forever :D

Also Rachel will be performing in Groove Junction in Hartamas this Friday so this is advance notice for those who wanna go. Later don't say I never inform !!!

Technorati Tags : rachel guerzo, no black tie, fly, rizal, jazz, changeiam, change.i.am, 2007

Blast from the past

You know how sometimes you have made some bad choices in your past and then thinking that you have closed that chapter in your life it suddenly rears it's ugly head and now threatens your future ?

Where do people get the nerve to come up and demand for their right for something when it was already over and done with donkey months and years ago ? Do they have their heads in their asses when they made that move ?

Everyone makes mistakes and some of us have learned to accept it and some of us have actually moved on and are actually happy with our current lives and would like to leave the past where it belongs, in the past !!!

Where the hell do you get the right to suddenly come barging in demanding for things ? Sometimes some people can be so damn selfish and think the world revolves around them and that we have to worship the ground that they thread on and if they are not the center of the universe the world will just stop turning. Newsflash the world is still moving and and now that you feel left behind you want to drag me down as well ?? HELL NO !!! Been through that once already thank you very much.

Going through a roller coaster ride of my life this past few weeks with full of ups and downs and twists and turns and it's left me a little dazed.

The irony of life

They say if life gives you lemons make lemonade. I say take the lemon and throw it back at life and ask for oranges or mango or something else. This 24 hours has been so full of ups and downs that it's left me speechless and in awe at the irony of life

Had a lovely dinner with two lovely ladies, one being as crazy as me or even crazier and the other curious to know about my recent mood swings ... hahahaha. The place was great, the company even greater and I'm glad they got along cause if they didn't it would have been terrible. We had loads of laughter though I do think the wine had some contribution to that matter but it was great fun anyway.

Things took a 180 from there. Feel so bad for the events that unfolded after that and I can only say sorry. Hope it wasn't as bad as it looked. Things after that just got from bad to worst. What a way to end the night. The events that unfolded still baffled me.

1. got back to my car at 3am and started it up and drove it bout 200m made a u-turn and it died. JUST DIED !! Me the car person having car problems and had to called someone to come rescue me. Dissapointment No 1

2. Called Cynthia who was the nearest at that time and told her and thinking that it might be fuel problem and we tried to get some petrol because the car was running low on fuel but I know for sure it was more than enough to get me home.

3. Drove to petronas with a few MINERAL BOTTLES !!! hahahaha something which you obviously shouldn't be doing. Lucky there was someone at the counter and they had proper container for storing petrol which costs like RM 5 and can store RM 10 worth of fuel. Hope No 1.

4. We got back to the car and poured the fuel in only to be dissapointed. Dissapointment No 2. The car still couldn't start and since we couldn't do anything more so early in the morning Cynthia borrowed me her car for me to get home and setttle the problem the next morning.

5. Woke up early called a few people and everyone was asleep. I mean like wake up already, I know it's Sunday and all but I'm in need of HELP !!!! Got fedup and went back to sleep only to wake up around 11am and finally got hold of my mech. Hope no 2.

6. Reached there and tried to check the fuses which looked okay and tried cranking few times and it still wouldn't start. By that time my mech was already nearby and gave him instructions to get there. He checked and said most likely it's the fuel pump since there's no pressure as well. Told him to get a replacement but because it's Sunday most of the shops are closed. Dissapointment No 3.

7. Not wanting to give up gave a call to a few friends and a few shops and finally called the shop that I regularly get parts from and he agreed to open the shop. JUST FOR ME !!!!! Hope no 3. Manage to get the parts and manage to get my mech to come and get it replaced.

8. The skies grew darker and I tried calling him and he was still stuck with another job. He finally arrived around 4pm or so and while he was trying to change the fuel pump and the fuel relay some drops were felt threatening to pour and drench us all. Prayed to the gods to wait for a while until the work was done which actually happened. Hope no 4

9. After all that hard work and trying to source the parts the moment of truth arrived and nothing happened. The car was cranking but the fuel was still not being delivered and since it already started raining we had no choice but to close everything up and get a tow truck to tow the car to the workshop to have a look at the wirings. Dissapointment no 4

10. THE IRONY OF IT ALL IS USUALLY SUNDAY I HAVE CLASSES which for some weird funny reasons I didn't have any this weekend !!!!!

So even with all the shitty happenings god wanted to give me a break and gave me a shitty day when I'm quite free and had no classes. Imagine if this happened while I was on the way to work, or to classes or even worst when I'm on the way to submit an assignment or to sit for an exam. Never doubt the mystery and wonders of the powers that be !!!! wooooosshaaaaaaaa

Tagged - The 7 things

So I got tagged by Sylvia and here I am trying to do my first tag .. hahah why am I doing it cause I'm bored shitless and need something to concentrate on. Thanks Sylvia for the tag though it did leave me with headache .. damn lotsa questions wei !!!

[Seven Things I'm Experiencing Now]
1. happiness
2. sadness
3. anger
4. frustration
5. dissapointment
6. hurt
7. hope

[Seven Things I'm Thinking About Now]
1. can it get any worst ?
2. why hope ?
3. will it be better tomorrow ?
4. to go on or to step back ?
5. to sleep or to read
6. to go out or to stay home
7. the future

[Seven Things I'm Worrying About]
1. life
2. car
3. work
4. tomorrow
5. today
6. my actions
7. my self control

[Seven Things I'm Happy About]
1. my friends
2. my work
3. my car
4. my monitor
5. my safety
6. my sanity
7. my madness

[Seven People I Treasure]
1. dad
2. mum
3. best friends
4. friends
5. myself
6. mechanic
7. breadman

[Seven Things I Always Touch or Come In Contact With]
1. my handphone
2. my pc
3. my notebook
4. my car
5. my office pc
6. my office phone
7. my cup

[Seven Things I Want to Improve]
1. my self control
2. my anger
3. my shyness
4. my self esteem
5. my life
6. my work
7. my relationships

[Seven Things I'm Strong In]
1. dependable
2. caring
3. loyal
4. patient
5. funny
6. noisy
7. independent

[Seven Things I'm Weak In]
1. patience
2. anger
3. emotional
4. dependable
5. shy
6. anger
7. expressing myself

[Seven Things I Adore Eating]
1. chicken
2. seafood
3. ice cream
4. cakes
5. chocolates
6. mums cooking
7. italian food

[Seven Things I Adore Drinking]
1. COFFEE
2. WINE
3. coke/vanilla coke
4. coconut water
5. fruit juices (apple, orange, pinapple,watermellon)
6. milo
7. plain water

[Seven Things I Detest]
1. liers
2. abusers
3. users
4. snobs
5. selfishness
6. assuming
7. ego

[Seven Things I Cannot Live Without]
1. family
2. friends
3. car
4. pc
5. internet
6. coffee
7. love

[Seven Things I Fear to Show]
1. my skeletons
2. my inner self
3. my past
4. emotions
5. dissapointment
6. anger
7. love

[Seven Things I'll Never Want to Talk About]
1. dunno depends how close i am to that person
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

[Seven Things I Will Want to Do]
1. spending my last moments with the people I love around me
2. travel the world
3. fall in love selflessly
4. finish my masters
5. take care of my parents
6. spend time with my friends
7. spend time with my loved ones

[Seven Things I Will Never Play Around When/With]
1. feelings
2. love
3. friendship
4. my future
5. my studies
6. my family
7. sadness

[Seven Things I Wonder About]
1. my future
2. my past
3. my life
4. my parents
5. my death
6. my friends
7. my love

[Seven Questions I Hope My Friends Would Respond To]
1. Do you think I'm emotional ?
2. Am I too loud ?
3. Am I really that funny ? Sometimes I feel quite lame lor
4. My blog really interesting meh ??
5. Will I be a good father ?
6. Will I be a good husband ?
7. Will you continue being my friend even when sometimes do the wrong things ?

[Seven Things (or People) I Would Love to See]
1. My past self
2. My future self
3. the pyramids
4. backpacking europe
5. bill gates
6. flying cars
7. peace and happiness on earth

[Seven People I Wanna Tag]
1. kookoo
2. janice
3. beve
4. mistress
5. daniel
6. eelyn
7. eemun

That helpless feeling

You know how sometimes you hear bad things happen to someone you care about and it just hurts you so much that you feel so helpless and don't know what to do ? On one hand you want to put your arms around that person and protect them from the world so that for once they will not get directly hurt and the world has to go through you first before reaching them.

I'm that type of person. I want to make sure life is all sugar and spice and everything nice for the people around me that I care about and try to minimise the impact to those I care but I soon realise that I was being selfish. Why selfish because I'm sugar coating everything and letting them think the world is a safe place to be in. The reality of it is the world if full of hurt and pain and sooner or later we have to realise and deal with it.

I made that mistake once and I paid dearly for it and not only that the person also became weak and depended a lot on me. This time around I'm going to approach it in a different way. I'm going to stand back and let the world deal directly with that person and as much as it will hurt and make that person sad I believe that this is what will teach the person to be much stronger and at the same time learn from the mistakes made. I will be around to hold the persons hand whenever they fall and help them up but no longer will I stand if front and ensure the path is clear from all dangers and obstacles, I hope hahaha maybe once in a while can la.. I also still learning ma :D

I guess the same theory can be applied to parenting. On one hand you want to protect your kid from all the harm in the world but on the other hand the only way he will learn is by falling and picking himself up and moving on again. Such a scary thought being responsible for the future and well being of another person, knowing that every decision and actions you take will have an effect on their future. Thank god I still have some time before that happens. In the mean time I'm always around to those that needs an extra ear to bitch at and a shoulder to cry on. Together we shall conquer life difficulties hand in hand.

Trip to Melaka

Pictures first

Me against the powers that be

Would you, knowing that someone reads what you write censor your thoughts and feelings as to not hurt the other persons feeling ? When I wanted to start a blog this were the thoughts that I had and when I began I told myself that this blog is a place for me to pour out my thoughts and feelings but yet I didn't want the whole world to read me like an open book. Such a predicament, deciding between what to post and what not to post, what to share and what not too share. I still am undecided and maybe somethings are just better left unsaid ? After all actions speaks louder than words.

I got so many things running through my mind. Some good, some bad. Plus with all that's going on in the office right not it just adds on to my already burdened shoulders and suddenly I feel the weight of the world resting on them.

It's been a rough week and it looks like it's getting worst. There's been some good news, some excellent company and many heartfelt moments and laughters but at the end of the day when the dust has settled I still find myself sitting alone wondering about my life and the people surrounding them.

Was having a conversation the other day and when I suddenly realised that I will be hitting the big three o. Never had a reason to think about it and it never even crossed my mind until recently that is. I look around me and see everyone else being happy, living life the way it's meant to be or at least it looks like they are.

I know I shouldn't be doing this but once again I'm starting to doubt myself and what I've done so far. I see my friends spending time with their wives, with their children and that alone is an acomplishment on its own and I turn around behind me to see nothingness. Not to say I'm not happy with my life is just that I feel like I've nothing to show for it ? Though I know it's not true but somehow I just feel it's not enough, that I could have done better, could have made use of the time that I've lost.

Is it normal to have such thoughts running around my head ? Last night I just sat down looking at life passing me by as I sipped my latte. It's as though everyone else is moving at lightning pace and I'm just sitting there watching life go by while I'm on pause mode. I see families going out for dinner, friends going out and having a good time, parents bringing their kids out and teaching them about the world, lovers arguing and then making up again, people by the street selling paper trying to earn a living, people just finishing their job at 10pm at night and then having to wake up early for the next day.

Everyone seems to have a purpose and a place to head to. Not having the time to sit and have a cup of coffee and yet here I am sitting down and watching it all go pass me. I try to push myself to join in but somehow the feeling is just not there. Is this what they call a burnout ?

I don't think I have that much stress in the office and sometimes I find myself too free and have time to do my own stuff but obviously when deadlines are near it's normal to go back at wee hours in the morning. Have I been running and chasing the pot at the end of the rainbow that I forgot that the rainbow itself is a beautiful thing that needs admiration ?

After all that hard work and dedication and sweat poured into work and now suddenly to be just tossed aside like a used piece of cloth is depressing. I never thought I could have such attachments to a job but then again I don't think it's the job itself but the people surrounding me. In a company with 70 people or so and yet the ability for everyone in a different department to come together and have fun to me is an amazing thing. Even the management is awesome and you don't feel that you're talking to a superior and that makes it even more depressing. One of the reason I stayed here for this long was because of this and now that it's been ripped apart I feel a piece of me is also being ripped.

Weird I always thought a job is a job and I would always find a better job but I never realised that I'm so attached to the working environment that even with the let downs I still picked myself up and continue with my head held high but this is the last straw. It's good that by the time everything finalises it will be end of the year so I can start looking for another job beginning next year. So much for being a loyal and hardworking employee bleahhhhhhhh

Myanmar - Day 4

So finally it was time to go back home. Didn't have much time to go anywhere else as we had to be in the airport early. Took some more pictures as we checked out the hotel.

Made our way to the airport and the departure was from the old airport and it looked quite outdated lor. I think our JB airport is so much better..

The aircond in the airport also damn ancient lor !!! hahaha see also can get scared .. hahaah

Finally it was time to head back home. It was a fun trip but I need my internet and handphone. Did I mention that owning a handphone in Myanmar is considered a luxury ? Because of the limited licenses/units available it's a control thing there and you need to apply to get it. Even if you had money doesn't mean that you can get a handphone. They draw lots or something like that. Internet is also controlled and sites like hotmail, yahoo, gmail can't be accessed. The people there are friendly though. Even if you go to a shop and tell the owner that you are not interested in buying he will still take the time to show you and entertain you unlike other places. I would go there again but not alone, maybe in a big group :D

When you're smiling

You make me smile too. Thank you for your patience and letting me be myself and trying your best to cheer me up. Really means a lot to me :D

Trip to Myanmar - Day 3 Updated

So this is the 3rd day we're going to be in Myanmar. Since we didn't have any plans for the whole day we decided to just walk around and check out some local shops. Woke up early and had breakfast and while waiting for the rest to come down I saw this in the hotel. Just looks so yummilicous so took some pictures of it. One slice is about 2-3 USD..

Walked around the shops and streets near the hotel because there were a lot of pagoda's in Yangon but because of the company I doubt we will be going in any so there wasn't really anything much more to see in Yangon.

The main attraction there is obviously their gem stones and of course their pearls. They had cultured pearls as well as south sea pearls. You could even get your hands on some tahiti pearls which are pretty rare. Well from what the shop person told us anyway and this little pearls are not cheap either. A loose south sea pearl costs something like 150 USD !! So imagine having a pearl bracelet or necklace. Some of them went crazy and bought some saying that it's damn cheap but what do I know hahaha but the pearls there were really beautiful even I was tempted to by but luckily got no one to buy for !!! hahahah

After hours of walking it was almost lunch time and since our group got seperated we decided to make our way back to the hotel. On the way there we saw DURIANS !!! Since some of us are durian freaks we decided to try a few fruits. Each fruit costs us about 2000kyat which is around 2usd which is not too bad. The fruit was delicious and tastes something like our durian kampung.

At the sidewalks of Yangon it's common to see hawkers selling anything and everything from local delicasies to your fishes and chickens and fruits and even clothes. Did not dare try anything local because of health reasons hahaahah don't wanna end up getting food poisoning.

We headed back to the hotel after that and had lunch. Some of them went back for another round of shopping after lunch but I was just too freaking tired and decided to get a nap before our dinner appointment with the Malaysian ambassador that night.

We organised a dinner for the embassy people together with the ambassador. After dinner with nothing else to do we headed to KARAOKE !!! Hahahahaha this would be only my second time ever going karaoke. Plus I was going with people almost twice my age group so I felt a bit weird hahahaha but once the songs started playing and everyone started singing I realised that I was actually enjoying myself hahaha and we ended up going back to the hotel around 2-3am !!! KARAOKE IN MYANMAR !!!! hahahahahahah

Technorati Tags : myanmar, yangon, trip, holiday, business, changeiam, change.i.am, 2007

Relay for Life

Have never heard about this before and honestly have never looked twice even if it was advertised in newspapers. Saw a post in Jessica's site here and it got me thinking. It's been a while since I've thought about it and the recent events happening in my life has got me thinking long and hard about a lot of things including my dad.

Here's a skeleton from my closet which I've been keeping for such a long time and I guess after so long I think I'm ready to let it out ?

Few years back my dad was diagnosed with Stage 2 colon cancer and when that happened I could feel my whole world just crumbling down. When he first found out he was equally shocked because he takes quite good care of his health and doesn't smoke and drinks ocassionaly and very seldom can you see him sick. In fact sometimes I feel he's healthier than me !! We went to get a few opinions and it was confirmed that he has cancer and needs to get an operation.

I was devastated. I was angry with the world, with my friends, with life, with anything and everything. Even the slightest thing set me off and all I wanted to do is crawl into a corner and be left alone. I had so much anger within me that I scared myself sometimes.

He went into the operation which took like almost forever and before he got into the operation theatre I could not stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. My sis and mum were already crying bucket loads and I tried to be the strong one. Tried to hold back as much as possible as this could be the last time I ever see my dad and I have to assume the responsiblity of being the man in the house.

He was in there for the longest time and when the he was suppose to be out we still didn't hear any news. My sis started crying again and I told her that everything will be okay and I'm sure our dad will be fine. He's always been a fighter !! My greatest fear was there were complications or the cancer has spread to other parts of the body.

Finally the doctor came out and said he has done the best he could and now my dad has to do the rest because it was a long operation his body needs to recover and only will then the doctor be able to see the results. He was in ICU for a few days and it was an aweful period for me. The first time I saw him with all type of tubes and machines connected to him my heart just fell to the floor. He looked so pale, weak, unconscious and not the same person I remembered him to be. When he finally woke all I could do was squeeze his hand and give him a weak smile.

The doctor said the operation went well but the recovery period will be quite hard and he has to go for chemotherapy which will put him and his body under a lot of stress. It was many trips to and fro the hospital and helping out my dad in and out of bed and basically just being there for him. He was trying to be as nice as possible but because of the pain and probably the anger that he himself has, he was quite a difficult person to deal with and that alone thought me loads of patience.

We finally got him back home and within months he was back to his jolly self. It's been a while since that day and he's doing fine but the possibility of the cancer growing is still there and he has to go for checkup once in a while. I've never thought about it since that day and have never told many about it. I guess I was still living in denial and have this perfect picture of a healthy and energetic man full of spirit in my mind and don't want that image to be tarnished.

After finding out that there might be other people out there who might not be as lucky as me and might have lost a loved one to cancer I decided that this year I will try to somehow get involved in the Relay for Life which is organised by National Cancer Society of Malaysia. I might not be directly involved in the relay but I will definitely go there to support the cause. I might talk to my dad about it and bring him there as well. We have not talked about his cancer since his operation and I guess it's time I opened up to him as well and accept the fact that he's sick and not the man he used to be.

I love you dad and I hope you live to be a hundred and you are able to hold your grandchildrens in your arms before you say goodbye for the very last time.

See here for more details regarding the event.

Trip to Myanmar - Day 2

This is the sequel to my trip to Myanmar. The updates are coming a bit slow because haven't had the chance to be online most of the week running around to get work done.

Woke up early in the morning to find this for breakfast. Fresh fruit juice blended and kept ready for consumption in a huge block of ice. Since it was an international hotel the normal westen breakfastwas available including a small corner with some Myanmar food but no one dared try hahahah

We had work to do today so went over to the embassy to do our presentation and while waiting for everything to be setup walked around the place taking some pictures. Check out the fan switch. It's like damn ancient okay.

Since we haven't had lunch in any of the local shops the guys at the embassy took us out to eat nasi briyani.

The food was actually not that bad other than the fact it was much oilier compared to back home. After eating the embassy guys said we HAVE to try the tea here and it's a speciality so we ordered tea for everyone.

OMG the tea was so damn bloody STRONG !!! It's like tehpucinno .. SERIOUSLY !!! but was damn good. The after taste of the tea lasted for about an hour and even then I already drank a bottle of mineral water. MADNESS !! hahaha

This is a common sight in Yangon. They have this small van type thingy that serves as their public transport. They do have busses as well but maybe this ones are like more often and cheaper ?? No idea didn't dare even to try it .. hahaahha

After our second presentation after lunch we got back to the hotel and had a rest because that night we had a dinner with the embassy guys as well. So I head over to the business suite to see if I can use the internet and I saw this as soon as I sat down.

We were brought to a Thai restaurant and since most of the dishes were about the same with what we can get locally didn't take any pictures cause I was too busy enjoying the food .. ahhaha

After dinner we had nothing to do and were rather bored and noticed that there was a cinema across the street from the hotel we were staying in and we decided to catch a show in MYANMAR !!! hahahahahah

I was taking a few pictures and noticed this. A metal detector in the cinema before heading in. Quite scary also lor .. got people bring parang or guns into cinema before ??? and after that I kena sounding because of snapping photos .. so immediately kept the camera before I get hanged or something ...

We watched 300 ... AGAIN and my god the people in the cinema is damn noisy man. If here the phone rings kena throw with popcorn already. Over there the phone ring until the song almost finish also nobody makes noise cause they are noisier than that and the fella beside me eat kuachi as though it's free. Throughout the whole show could hear him munching. Wonder how many packets he bought.

PLUS PLUS PLUS quite jakun also la they all hahahahah .. remember the oracle scene where she wore this quite transparent clothes ?? When they saw that it was as though I heard wolves on heat .. so many howling and jeering from the crowd .. we who are used to it felt ashamed pulak .. hahaha

After the show we walked back to the hotel to get some much needed sleep :D

Technorati Tags : myanmar, yangon, trip, holiday, business, changeiam, change.i.am, 2007