Sunday, May 20, 2007

An idle mind is the devil's playground

Spent the whole day yesterday in Malacca with friends and it was a lovely trip though we didn't get to go every place that was planned but we managed to visit the important places like chicken rice ball and satay celup .. hahahahah ... pictures later ..

After being out and about for almost 19 hours finally reached home close to 2am and sleeping around 2:30am I find myself awake at 6am.... arrghhhhhh .. tried to go back to sleep again but can't so here I am typing this post...ahhahaha

Though yesterday was filled with laughter and fun there came a point where I suddenly found myself detached and wanting to be alone. I thought I was in control of myself but somehow Mr Emotional won the battle last night but only for a short while as I put up a good fight and soon I was my jolly self again.

I blame it on the uncle who was doing the wire mesh art thing for bringing it up and asking us/me that question. I was fine and dandy and forgot about it until I saw him again that night and once again I find myself asking so many other question related to that one question and it got me thinking. I forgot about this feeling, how good and wonderful it could be, how much it could light up the day, how much meaning it has to some while some just take it for granted. I thought I could never feel this way again but I know it's somewhere there deep inside me, it's still there waiting and wanting to come out just waiting for the right time BUT because of the bitter taste that still lingers around it is kept well guarded with walls as high as mountains waiting for the right person but then again how do you know who is the right person if you never try and take a chance in the first place ?

Is it the dawn of a brand new day or do I long for yesterday ? It's like taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Knowing that the fire is hot and could burn, do you still go nearer to it for warmth or keep a distance so that you still feel a little heat but never too near for anything to ever catch fire ? Is being afraid a good thing which keeps us within our limits or is it what holds us back from reaching our potential or trying new things ?

Kids have it so easy. If they fall they just pick themselves up and go on their merry way. Some might cry, some might laugh but they forget about their fall in an instant and learn from it and try again. If one way fails, then they try another and another until they succeed doing what they are trying to do. As we grow older we forget that life is about trying and learning and falling once in a while and picking ourselves up and continuing on is okay and normal. Nobody's perfect.

So many questions left unanswered, so many doubts, so many uncertainties but that's what life is about. Nobody has the answer to everything if they did I guess the excitement of life no longer exists.

What am I trying to get at, I don't know just that my head feels heavy and I just wanted to ramble a bit early in the morning trying to fall asleep again. I shall try going back to sleep because all these thinking is leaving me with a freaking headache.


ms.bulat said...

if he comes again i confirm will not only drown him. the tissues that are used to wipe my snot i throw at him also wahahahahaha you ARE gonna help me rights?!

que sera sera. whatever will be will be. the futures not ours to see. que sera sera. what will be will be.

you just have to push that extra lil bit to see what happens if not nothing will ever happen i guess....whatever happens you know we will be there...YESLARH with the snot tissues okay?: p

changeiam said...

Yes yes I will sharpen my parang and you lure him out and I will chop chop chop.

You be there is okay but make sure keep the tissue at home okay if possible don't use tissue save the environment and trees. A shoulder is all we sometimes need !! hahahah

ms.bulat said...

chop? why you so voilent one?! just push him from a cliff or somethinglar. no evidence.

hahahhahaha remember the Questtt: P

Vinspire said...

Ms. Bulat linger in ...

So, vinny is leaving his 1st mark here :D

changeiam said...

Chop because it's more satisfying seeing him suffer a painful death rather than an instant one where he just falls and dies .. hahahah

The quest shall never be mentioned again from this day forward !!!

uncle vinny welcome !! :D

Janice said...

*huggies* you can always count on me for nice warm hugs =)
*ignore bad uncles* rawrrrrr
everything is trial an error..u will get it right one day. we're all on da same boat!